So the weightloss and exercising is at a plateau. I am not really gaining but not making progress and my love life is much the same. I met someone recently who I never felt I was ,"in love with," but I did enjoy spending time with him. We met and dated very regularly for two full months. Then - that is all. He sent a follow up email once and said that next week might be better and then nothing.
After much agonizing over what I said, what he said, if I did something wrong...I finally realized that he was doing what is now called the fadeaway. Apparently men prefer this because they don't have to tell you why or get into any drama. So I am sitting with that. Because all of this work on me is really all about finding out if I can finally find someone to spend my life with.
I find it utterly rediculous that God would want me to be alone. I have a wonderful career, fabulous family, good close friends, and essentially a really good life. But what I want most is to have someone to share that life with. I REALLY tried the online dating thing but have found only a few nice guys and no one who is THE one.
In the past 12 years since my divorce I have dated at least 14 men. None of those relationships have lasted more than 1 or 2 months and it is a stretch at that to call them relationships. I made a couple of nice friends but not anyone to write home about. So then I have to realize that it must be me. I am the common denominator in these scenarios.
I have no idea what is next. I feel as I have for sometime that there must be something more than this but what it is I do not know.
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