Getting out the Door

I posted on Facebook the other day (with a picture of a runner) that the hardest thing was getting out the front door.

Sometimes I lie to myself.  Sometimes it isn't getting out the front door that is hard, sometimes getting out of bed is hard.  Today for instance I really wanted to get up early and walk the dogs and then start my day.  The thing is, every fiber of my body was hurting and I just wanted one more hour of sleep.  I did feel better when I finally got up, but I also did not get that walk in yet today.

When a longtime friend of mine saw the getting out the door post, he said the hardest part is starting over again, and again and again.  It is so hard to look at the yoyo of weight loss and know that while you have no desire within you to try one more time - you simply have to.  The fact that your knees hurt and and you feel stiff after sitting is just your body's way of saying, "Hey!  You gained all this weight so now you are gonna have to do some stuff for all of us to feel better again."

We all want to love ourselves and we want to feel good.  We want to live good productive, ACTIVE lives, but after a lifetime of running up against those windmills it can be overwhelming.

SOOOOOO - we might indulge ourselves a bit in some down-time, but better to take a walk, even a short one and get the body moving.  My problem is I tend to be all or nothing.  It makes it hard  on my body to bounce back.  It is time though once again to push my self just a bit and make a few good choices each day so that eventually getting out of bed or out the door won't be the hardest thing.

Here is to one more time.

Body Love

I was thinking on my lunch time walk...you just have to love yourself where you are.  I know this is not a new concept and I am certainly not the first to say it, but we all need to be reminded. 

I have basically been at war with my body since I was about 12 years old.  That was when I REALLY saw that I was different from everyone else.  The thing is, I wish I had known at the time that while I was different, I was not bad, ugly or unloveable.  It is so very basic.  I had a good family and friends, and yet the image in my head was FAT.  Over the years my weight has been more than a yoyo.  It has gone up and down as quickly and easily as my emotions have changed from happy to sad to bored and back again.  I have lost 40 lbs on virtually every diet known to man and while I feel better about myself for a while...the love just isn't there.

The Body Love Conference a few months back started me down the path of acceptance.  Not accepting that I cannot change, but accepting myself just how I am for now.  I am not at a weight that I am happy about right now, but I am exercising.  I have committeed to trying to walk 10,000 steps at least 4-5 times a week, I am doing a squat challenge and a pushup challenge and I am doing my best to eat well.  I have not lost any weight mind you, but I am trying to push through.

I know from experience that at some point I will be successful again and THIS time, if I can get those 40 lbs off I am going to do my very best to keep them off.  I am currently about 42 lbs down from my heaviest weight.  It is frightening at times because I know that 42 lbs can come on in a VERY short time for me.  I try to remind myself that life has many changes for each of us to handle every day of our lives and we should not spend one minute hating the skin we are in.

I am thankful that I have no health issues, and my life is for the most part balanced with friends and family, work and play.  I have been practicing smiling because I know that we all have to fake it till we make it and smiling is one very easy positive thing that I can do for myself everyday that just might also help those around me.

Longtime no post!

I can't believe it has been since last July since I posted.  It is scary how time flies.  In the last post I mentioned a guy who faded away....well he faded back.  Said he lost my number when his phone died and then almost a year later realized that verizon could upload all his contacts - probably true, doesn't really matter if it isn't.  We are seeing each other again, but I have realized that who I am has little to do with whether or not he calls me - I know big breakthrough!

I just completed yet another weightloss program - naturally slim - through work.  Good program actually.  Talks about eating slowly - eating only twice a day - eating only when you are hungry and stopping when you are full.  I lost 6 lbs. right away, then gained 10, and then lost those...all in 10 weeks!  It has been a couple of weeks and at least I am not gaining.  I have tried to stop obsessing about food and or working out.

Something really revolutionary that I did was attend the Body Love Conference in Tucson #BLC.  It was fabulous and really focused on simply loving yourself.  I don' t know why I need permission for that but my whole outlook has really changed.  Jes Baker, Tess Munster and World Famous Bob transformed not the way I look at the world, but how I look at myself.  So in that spirit I decided to upload some pictures - because I Love who I am and now how I look.



New Headshot for the Deputy Director

Doesn't really matter how I look but how I feel about who I am and where my life is going.  I keep doing races because it keeps me motivated and I keep looking or inspiration in life, love and the persuit of happiness.



AZ Distance Classic