Body Love

I was thinking on my lunch time walk...you just have to love yourself where you are.  I know this is not a new concept and I am certainly not the first to say it, but we all need to be reminded. 

I have basically been at war with my body since I was about 12 years old.  That was when I REALLY saw that I was different from everyone else.  The thing is, I wish I had known at the time that while I was different, I was not bad, ugly or unloveable.  It is so very basic.  I had a good family and friends, and yet the image in my head was FAT.  Over the years my weight has been more than a yoyo.  It has gone up and down as quickly and easily as my emotions have changed from happy to sad to bored and back again.  I have lost 40 lbs on virtually every diet known to man and while I feel better about myself for a while...the love just isn't there.

The Body Love Conference a few months back started me down the path of acceptance.  Not accepting that I cannot change, but accepting myself just how I am for now.  I am not at a weight that I am happy about right now, but I am exercising.  I have committeed to trying to walk 10,000 steps at least 4-5 times a week, I am doing a squat challenge and a pushup challenge and I am doing my best to eat well.  I have not lost any weight mind you, but I am trying to push through.

I know from experience that at some point I will be successful again and THIS time, if I can get those 40 lbs off I am going to do my very best to keep them off.  I am currently about 42 lbs down from my heaviest weight.  It is frightening at times because I know that 42 lbs can come on in a VERY short time for me.  I try to remind myself that life has many changes for each of us to handle every day of our lives and we should not spend one minute hating the skin we are in.

I am thankful that I have no health issues, and my life is for the most part balanced with friends and family, work and play.  I have been practicing smiling because I know that we all have to fake it till we make it and smiling is one very easy positive thing that I can do for myself everyday that just might also help those around me.