Diet of Hope

In 2012 I did Dr. Gann's Diet of Hope to try to get some of my weight off again.  I had ballooned up to 286 and lost about 40 lbs. during the initial 6 weeks of that program.  It is a very strict High Protein/Low Carb diet.  So, on August 17th of this year when I found myself again at a very near all time high of 315 lbs.  I decided it was time to start over in earnest.

This year I have been looking back a lot.  I guess turning 50 does that to you.  Today when I began to look at my weight loss and gain over the past few years as this blog shows it has gone from as low as 240 and as high as 329.  Thant is a difference of 89 lbs.  That is an entire small adult! (I actually know some 90 lb. folks).  It seems like 240 and 250 are difficult weights for me to maintain and pass.
This time, I have decided to face this thing head on - one day at a time.

On August 17th I weighed 315 lbs.  Today my scale said 301.2.  So there you go.  I can still lose weight.  I don't know why I always give up.  It is not really a giving up as much as a returning to old behaviors.  Ice cream has always seemed like a good idea, but eating it every day or even several times a week has proven deadly for me.

I had promised myself back in 2012 that I would be at my goal weight of 180 by the time I turned 50.  Interestingly enough, if I had kept off all the weight I have lost and regained over the past 3 years I probably would have made it to that goal.

For now, walking at least 10,000 steps a day and keeping to a strict diet is working, however I know that probably in another week I am going to have to step up and vary the exercise.  I definitely need the strength training and yoga has got to make a comeback. 

Why this continued lifelong obsession with weight...it is all about self-image of course.  How I see myself and more importantly how I feel about myself at any give time is reflected in my weight.  Luckily I am mostly healthy, though this year has been a little challenging with anemia and some arthritis popping up but I am determined to push through. 

I am starting a new spiritual directions class in September and I am ever hopeful that both the spiritual and the physical work I am doing will lead to a much improved me by the end of the year, AND I can extend that goal of losing to my goal by the end of my fiftieth year.  To reach that goal I would have to lose about 121 lbs. over the next 10 months.  This is actually doable at 12 lbs. a month or 3 lbs. a week.  I guess it is time to start visualizing that and making it my truth.

I think it is important to find the way toward this goal because I want to live a long and healthy life.  My kids have not started their families yet and I want to be a cool, active gramma when they do AND I want to have a lot more fun as the years go by.  I have been really thinking about gastric bypass again, but in my heart of hearts I feel that is just not the path for me.  So here I go, one day, one pound at a time until I can reveal the me that has been waiting to come out.

Thanks for listening!